A man kills himself every twenty minutes in the United States of America. Twenty male Veterans kill themselves every day in the United States of America. So…you know, “What the fuck?”
As an American Veteran with no kids, no wife, no pets, and no problems…I’m going to live abroad forever. There’s no such thing as heaven on earth, but my life in the Dominican Republic comes about as close to that “living the dream” feeling as possible in this human experience. The rising cost of living, political division, a broken dating culture, and bullshit are forcing a lot of men to consider the expat life.
It’s not for everyone, you have to be a little crazy, a little adventurous and the type of guy who thinks outside the box. I will say, if you’re not happy in your current environment, then something must change. I’m a veteran who felt lost when I got out of the military. My journey leaving the military was a roller coaster ride. I had meltdowns battling PTSD, got married and divorced, struggled with alcohol, visited brothels in Thailand, spent a night or two in jail, got married and divorced again (facepalm), joined a motorcycle club, got addicted to pills, and spent hundreds of hours in tattoo parlors.
When I came on vacation to the Dominican Republic, everything changed. I stopped surviving and started living. It hit me when I was out on a date with a girl that didn’t even speak English at a beachside restaurant, watching the sunset, that I felt content. I’m not sure if I ever felt that before, I’d bet a lot of men feel the same. I cancelled my return ticket, found a furnished apartment for $500 a month within walking distance of beaches, restaurants, a bar I liked, and a great gym. I sold everything I owned in the United States from my car to my TV and started fresh with nothing but a suitcase in paradise.
“Four years later, it feels like I’m aging backwards. My days are full of things I want to do, not the endless to-do list of the rat race. I have a nice condo with a pool, I own a golf cart, and I can still order from Amazon. I receive my military retirement abroad, I get superior healthcare, and I’ve never had a safety issue.”
Should You Pull The Trigger?
Moving abroad isn’t for everyone, I’ve seen plenty of expats crash out and burn on my journey. I’ve had my share of frustrations, especially the first year. Moving abroad has challenges, and it can be scary. As Americans, moving abroad can be a weird concept because hey, we’re the country people move to, not the country people move from. But I know I’m not wrong in saying, the American dream ain’t what it used to be baby.
I wanted to write this article to men, to provide some resources and ideas based on my years of living abroad. There’s a lot of bullshit out there and if you’re exploring the expat life there’s five things to start with.
1. Financial Planning
The most important step is the dollars and cents of it. Or the Pesos of it all if you’re coming here to the Dominican Republic, or the Baht of it if you’re going to Thailand. Cost of living is different for everyone and unique to you. I have a Marine friend who lives a few blocks away and spends half what I do. He lives in a small studio, pays 400 a month, and he spends his days scuba diving, hiking, and at the gym. I’m pretty sure he rarely spends more than $2000 a month. He’s one of the happiest people that I know.
You know yourself, for a resource check out The Earth Awaits: A cost of living tool that takes some questions from you about your lifestyle and calculates a monthly budget for you from over 600 cities around the world. There are plenty of other Cost of Living Calculators out there for you to play around with. You’ll need some extra dinero front, you’ll always spend more the first few months in a new country.
The first step is the the painful task of evaluating your net worth. Knowing your net worth is important for two main reasons. First is that it helps you fully understand your financial situation. Secondly because it’ll provide an important reference point for your progress towards your goal of moving abroad. It’s a big picture snapshot and chances are you’re not going to be satisfied with the number. But nobody outside Elon is satisfied with their net worth so don’t worry about it.
The American lifestyle is designed to trap you into debt, and it can be a challenge to claw your way out from student loans, car payments, mortgages, alimony, and credit cards. Check out this article on Tips To Improve Net Worth from Investopedia. Figure it out from one of the calculators below.
Resources
2. Pick Your Country
It’s a big world and there’s lots of places to consider. One reason I love the Dominican Republic is the ease of immigration compared to other countries. Check my conversation with SGT Sosua on Why The Dominican Republic Is The Best Country For Veterans. Once you pick your country, you have to narrow down your city and neighborhood. My five favorite countries are Thailand, The Philippines, Dominican Republic, Colombia, and Costa Rica.
Consider Your Potential “Must-Haves”
- Good schools
- Low Cost Of Living
- Distance from USA
- Dog friendly
- Safety
- Gym
- Beach
- Visas
- Walkability
- Job prospects
- Healthcare
- Minority friendly
- Marijuana laws
- Weather
- Mountains
- English speaking
- Pet friendly
- Pollution
- Safe for solo females
3. Do A Trial Run
If I had to pick a common failure point for a lot of expats, it would be the lack of an adequate trial run. Real life unfortunately isn’t a vacation, and a lot of people fall prey to the Margarita Effect. That’s when they go somewhere on vacation, live it up and think to themselves, “I’d like to live here.” Eventually, reality hits…they sober up and realize they’ve made a mistake.
Advice For Your Trial Run
- Connect with other expats living there before you go. If you don’t know anyone, check out expat Facebook groups, social media is a great resource but it takes putting yourself out there.
- Get off the touristy main streets and see where the people that live there are eating, shopping, and living. Live on a budget, not a vacation YOLO lifestyle.
- Walk when you can. Taking public transportation is a good idea as well but to get to know a place you need to put “boots on the ground.” Walking also will make you lost a bit; you can take some detours and side streets to truly explore.
- Look for reasons not to live there. You’re exploring expat life, not tourist life.
- Shop at local stores, run some errands, do everyday things and talk to people. Attend a local sporting event, concert or church. Take a fitness class, talk to other expats.
4. Downsize Your Life
You have too much shit. There’s a quote from Tyler Durden played by Brad Pitt in Fight Club that “the things you own end up owning you.” Lightening your load is a weight off your soul. It’s human nature to focus more on what you might lose than what you’ll gain, but what if what you lose is to your advantage?
Minimalism is a simpler life, but it doesn’t equate to depriving yourself. It helps you rethink what adds real value to your life and what adds false value. Minimalism teaches a certain gratitude for the things you have, instead of a desire for what you don’t. It’s kicking the American mentality of keeping up with the Joneses. Touch one of your possessions, if it doesn’t bring you joy then get rid of it before your move abroad.
Five Things to Leave Behind
• Yourself (at least the parts you don’t like and the past)
• Your Toxic Relationships
• Your Political Opinions
• Your Obsession with Time
• American comparisons
Five Things to Pick up
• Local Relationships
• Expat Friendships
• Culture Skills
• A Fierce Curiosity
• Patience
There’s a lot of small things you’ll need to do in regards to bills, mailing address, documents, storage, healthcare, etc. Don’t let it overwhelm you, the process of moving abroad is more doable today than ever. There’s a ton of great information out there and if it doesn’t work out, it’s not like you can’t go back. You deserve peace, you deserve happiness, and you deserve a high quality life. Go get it. Read Should You Move Abroad: 10 Questions To Ask Yourself on Gooverseas.com
Is It Worth It?
Should you stay or should you go? You’ll probably go back and forth a hundred times and some days you’ll want to get the hell out and some days stay in America forever. Living abroad requires you being a home for yourself in a lot of ways, no matter where you’re at physically. We tend to live in a world where the grass is greener on the other side, and we always want to be where we’re not.
Living abroad is a paradigm shifting, perspective altering experience that feels like you’re viewing the world for the first time. Leaving America is escaping the Matrix and reinventing your life on your terms. Being an expat is taking your life firmly in your own hands, being captain of your own ship, and master of your fate. It’s man stuff.
Life is supposed to be a bit risky now and then. Human existence used to be far more dangerous than it is today. As men, we need a little adrenaline in our lives now and then. It’s a big world, with great good, amazing cultures, and lots of great people. The world is waiting on you bro. If you’re a Veteran or a supporter, sign up for our newsletter at Veterans In Paradise for information and resources about life in the Dominican Republic.
Warning
If you’re running from something, your problems usually find a way to catch up with you. Moving abroad was something that was a net positive for my military PTSD and my overall happiness, I started sleeping better and found a greater peace than I did living in the states. Sometimes a change in environment can equal a change in life but you’re still you at the end of the day. If you’re struggling with something in the states, it’ll board that plane with you.
Check out my FREE VETERANS GUIDE TO MOVING ABROAD
Here’s my Instagram and TikTok, and subscribe to my YouTube Channel Combat Vet Abroad and my new channel for Veteran Affirmations. On my blog I have country guides on different places and guest articles written by Vets living abroad.